My Unrequited Love

I chant to myself you weren’t real
You never existed
You meant nothing to me

And with every word my voice gets smaller
One tear drops
Then my lips start to quiver

You never meant anything to me

But you meant the world to me
You meant everything

Every memory is like an aching thorn
A bruise that never wants to clear up
A wound that reopens making your reality hurt so much

I allowed myself to grieve over you
To move on
To live once more

And here I am
Like a slap in the face
Reminded of the unrequited love

Like a match that quickly surrendered to ash

All I want is to believe that you never existed
That you were never in every inch of my memory

And yet

My heart has so much scar tissue
From you ripping in to me
From you making me surrender to you

I tried and tried to remove myself
And I couldn’t even claw myself away

Why don’t you remember

I want to forget every part of you

Now this make-up smeared face needs to wipe your memory away
To really believe
And stop chanting

You never meant anything to me...

It was never what I did wrong
It was never how I could change to make you stay
It was all on you

I truly loved you
I truly did

Love to you…
It doesn’t mean anything
Does it...