LISTEN!

not scared... but completely hurt!

why do i seem so complexed and perplexed?

you see me day in and day
you tell me what to do
you tell me only of your good tidings

you never ask me
you never see the real me
you never want to know me

more and more i find hatred for you
i resent you
yet i can't get rid of you

you are a part of me
and i don't want you anymore
how many times have i tried to tell you

how many times have i been at your door and you never wanted to listen
you hurt me from your resistance
your unwillingness
your hesitation

all my life i've allowed you to push me in your direction
what you think is best for me
what you need me to do for you

when will i have my turn
when will i be able to enjoy myself with you around
i will never be able to be me in front of you

slowly i am realizing we were never friends
how much of a convenience was i too you
how much of me did you ever really want to know

i sit with you and our conversations seem so bland
i don't find enjoyment in your presence
you are condescending

all i've ever said about you are good things
good tidings
yet i seem like the lost little lamb to you
hold my hand in social situations
have your friends befriend me because i will not find my own

i understand now
i don't want to become who you've become
that wasn't and will not be my path

you pull me but in the wrong direction
your not standing in the wind
i just want to run free
i want to feel the cool breeze of change

but you will not allow me to
you will not let me run wild and free
i may not have everything in my life in order
but i know its gonna be ok

i know that life is still moving even if your not
i know that i can stand even when my knees are buckling
i know now you will not understand

it may take a week, a month, and maybe even years
but i want you to finally listen
i want you to finally stop talking and hear

these are my words
not words of wisdom
nor words of knowledge

but my path is far from yours
i don't want you to keep using me as your crutch
i want to break free and live on my own
i want to know that if i fall and there's no one there to pick me up
that you wont be there behind me rubbing the dirt in
i don't want you to come and rescue me
this is my life
this is my world
you are only blessed to have me in it