I will withhold...

i've decided to stop posting for right now...

my writings have become to private for me to post...

i don't want to divulge my heart to y'all just yet...

maybe soon...

one day...

you will see all of it...

but for right now...

my heart is too weak to reveal all of me...

allow it to grow stronger then i will show you my true self...

through my writings...

How Do I Capture You

**My first attempt at writing a song**


I.

Were you not ready for me
Did I bring to much baggage
You didn’t seem to care
You decided to look through all my bags

I carried my tough exterior
But you saw through me
You knew there was more behind my masks
I wasn’t prepared for you

I broke down as soon as your eyes burned through my exterior
I couldn’t say no to you
But how do I burn my eyes into your soul
How do I turn the tables where you only find me irresistible

Chorus.

How do I capture and captivate you
How do I make you mine
How do I hold you so tight there is no where else you can run to

How ready are you for my love
Were you ever ready for it
It was yours to give
It was yours to receive

But I see now that you weren't ready

II.

You had gotten to the core of me
Revealed all of me
Exposed me to the world
Pulled out the things that wasn’t needed

But I wasn’t able to find your core
You never let up
You never removed your masks

You never let up on anything
How was I gonna find your heart
When you never allowed it to be mine

All I wanted was you
Not what you did for me
Or what you could do for me

I miss you my loved one

Chorus.

But... How do I capture and captivate you
How do I make you mine
How do I hold you so tight there is no where else you can run to

How ready are you for my love
Were you ever ready for it
It was yours to give
It was yours to receive

Bridge.

Here’s my heart
I lay it out there for you
Please don’t reject it
Because I don’t know if I can take it

Chorus.

But... How do I capture and captivate you
How do I make you mine
How do I hold you so tight there is no where else you can run to

How ready are you for my love
Were you ever ready for it
It was yours to give
It was yours to receive

Hoping for... You and Me

nothing new to report.... so nothing to new to post...

but what i have been working on in myself is to have more confidence and more passion. more confidence in my self to be strong and independent! and to have more passion for something in life. i don't feel like i have too much passion for anything and i need some kind of passion. Where it may be. I want to be an artist. You know when you see people and they say... "oh they're an artist!" thats what i want people to say about me but i don't know how to go about doing that... oh wells... one day!

also... when you think you can rid yourself of one person. thinking they are out of your life. thinking you have finally released them... they come back into your life and re-captivate you. why do people do that to you. its almost cruel. almost like they have you on that short leash. but at the same time... i was hoping for that reconnection. hoping to be missed a little bit. so then you know that you meant something. that you were able to somewhat captivate that person. not like you were able to fully captivate them but... slowly... they see you as more than just a simple person.

i want to be more than sweet. i don't want people to call me just sweet. i will give them that i may be simple because i have simple needs. but i want to be extraordinary for me and for them.

well thats a me post today. hoping for new things in life! I was hoping for change and well its already gotten here. just hoping on new things! alright world lets get ready because i'm coming in full force! so watch out! because next time you will see me i will be taking you by the reins!

for everyone else i am hoping love, hoping blessings, hoping understanding your way! also lets try to not judge those we truly hate. they are someone to. something i need to also work on.

~peace and love

The Loneliness of the Violins Song

Let the violin play loud
To the melody of my heartache
To the melody of solitude
To the song of my soul

As the violin strums it plucks at my heart
The music plays as my tears fall
The bow moving at the speed of how the world crumbles around me

It keeps playing
Never ceasing
Never letting up

This heartache keeps growing
Keeps showing me how simple I was
How much you were able to envelop me in you

And I allowed it
If only I held some of me back
If only I didn’t show you all of me

Thats what truly hurts me
That the violin plays all of my heartaches
All of my pain
All of me

Exposing me to everyone
Without me giving it my consent
Just playing and playing

Louder and louder it goes
How can I stop this music from penetrating others
I just want to hold my music for now
To listen to it by myself
Yet I can’t stop it from telling my story

I can’t stop it from rendering me to this world
As the melody plays I am pulled in to it
Dancing away the emotions
Dancing away my sorrows
And feeling like an empty shell

Feeling like I have to dance
To put on my show
I just want to break the music
Sit in silence

I can’t even hear myself anymore
All I hear is my torment
My discomfort
My agony

Oh violin
I plead with you
Stop playing so that I could get over my despair
So that I could stop hurting
For just one night

Our New Creation

Nothing surrounding us
Nothing all around us

Just you and me
Exposed to each other
Standing
The beauty of you and I

At each step something was left behind
We started to see the grass grow
The flowers bloom
The animals come out

We started to create our lives
What we wanted for each other
The tenderness of a a brand new life

With each other
Can you hear the heart beat of our new life
The blood rushing
The heart beating
This new creation
Our love
Our union

My dearest
Our life is so beautiful
The new songs of the birds
Singing our love
As the water rushes
It speaks of our life
And the animals running to one another to tell them of us

How splendiferous it is
Our new creation

Our new life

Dancing

I want to dance with you
I want to listen to the melody and fly away
To be taken away in your arms
And not have a care in the world

To see your smile under the twilight
How happy you and I would be
How wondrous the moment would be
Nothing but us in the world

My cute little you
Moving around trees
And dancing over waters that glisten in the moonlight
Holding your hands

Grasping your heart
So beautiful
So sacred
So pure would the moment be

A simple kiss
A simple exchange of love
So gentle
But filled with so much love

My dear love
My dear friend
How I want more
How I want you to be mine

More than just the movements
More than just the feelings
I want it all
To have you in my arms

Dancing our dance
For the rest of our lives
My dearest lover
To have you be mine
And I all yours

Silly Love

Its just a silly little crush
From a silly little girl
Wishing silly little things

Wishing for love
Wishing for comfort in your arms
Hoping that you will send love back to her

Needing to feel safe in your eyes
Feeling safe with your kisses
Finding courage in you

Just a silly little girl finally able to stand
Stand because of you
Breathe because of you
Smile because of you

Loving only because of you
Not just a friend but becoming a lover
Finding home in your arms

Just a silly little girl
Who grew up
Who fell in love
And saw more than a crush

Believing that the love was being returned
That the love was true
That the love was all you needed

What a silly thing love can be
Silly enough to allow someone to find passion
Silly enough to break free from molds
Silly enough to make mistakes and know that tomorrow will be a new day

Silly enough to find out that there wasn’t love
Just a silly little crush
From a silly little girl
Who isn’t silly anymore