So! Today I came across a video on YouTube and this person was looking for help on writing a song. She has the music down and doesn't have the words. Last week she asked for the first verse and got tons of responses and picked the one people voted for most. This is the one that won...
Verse 1 (written by Kate McGill)
As I lay here on the bed my heart it speaks
I let it beat its beat, you feel the love it leaks
And I can't describe just how much of it is for you and what you do
But if I could love just one it would be you
So she played it on a video and then asked for the chorus and a pre chorus... and I submitted it... Heres my part...
PreChorus:
No more seeking nor need for looking for more
Let us stay like this until there is no more you and me
Chorus:
Just us
The simpleness of us
You have given me life
You have shown me delight
Enjoying the simpleness of us
In the stillness I am happy
In the small moments content
My love
I think it sounds great... but its gotta be peoples votes that give it the win... well here's to crossing fingers and hoping the people like it... :)
And if you come across this before the deadline which i believe is a week from today here's the link to the page to vote...
http://www.youtube.com/user/kinagrannis
Go to the About section and in the search bar type my name... my user name on YouTube is Delicateroses... So go ahead and vote it up... not that you have to... but yea it would be appreciated...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
BLAH BLAH and some more BLAH!
I look at other peoples photographs and wonder why wasn’t I showered that way… why didn’t I receive that kind of affection…
I realize I let myself only receive the emotions I give off… the ones that say I’m ok… that I don’t need much in life to get through life… but I have all these emotions on love, life, sadness, sorrow, joy, happiness, anger, hate…. Yet I wont show them off because I’m afraid of the rejection of others. I’m afraid it will be too much for some to take in…
My sister even came home LATE tonight… I was infuriated with her… I have not one person in this state to truly connect with but her… and I get it she has a life of her own and I can’t meddle with that. I need to find my own people to connect with and rely on. She has a boyfriend who she knows she will marry... so i can't really take up a lot of her time but I can’t seem to forget how pathetic I have been since moving to this state… nothing I mean nothing is going my way… I moved back so that things would be better but I cant believe how much I hate being here…
I could call my other sister to hang with but then that would be something I would regret here soon. Seeming as I hate her boyfriend the father of her beautiful boys that I adore oh so much. But I keep my tongue most of the time when I am around him simply to make her happy but I choose not to be around him so that it wont happen often… anyways heres what I’m getting at…
My birthday just past… yay… I have now been living for 28 years and I can probably count on my hands the many birthdays that I actually liked. My 16th, the last one I had… my 22 I believe… and any before I was 7…so I share my birthday with my younger sister… and I feel so invisible… more invisible now… I was able to see pictures of her birthday here in south carolina and she was showered with gifts and such… me… not one gift but a beautiful quilt my mother made… and I know gifting doesn’t merely show that someone appreciates me… but I wished for something like that… anyway...
I feel like thats all that my life has given me… and showed me… how to become invisible… I hate the lime light… I don’t like attention showed to me… but sometimes I like to be papered… I didn’t tell too many people that it was my birthday… and for some random lucky chance I got to tennessee the day before some of my friends were going to six flags… so I got to to six flags for my birthday… but I didn’t say it was my birthday until the day was ending… nothing made it special… except that I drove myself to tennessee to be around friends… thats it… and...
The thing is, growing up, people would tell me “if you just let go God will do wonderful things in your life” so I became lazy thinking it was going to automatically happen to me. That I didn’t have to work for it. I hate it… when so many people see the potential in me and then realize there really wasn’t much of anything to begin with…
Yea I know I’m being depressive… but I have no other outlet to say how much I’m feeling… whether if its happy or sad… well mostly sad… no one seems to want to hear and then sometimes I can’t express myself. Ironic that I’m listening to somewhere over the rainbow by Eva Cassidy. This woman died early and yet she was able to do whatever her hearts desire… and I’m still living and I haven’t done anything to say I have accomplishments…
See I tell you I am so highly aware of how pathetic I am… I just want to be happy truly happy… and not billionaire happy which would be great but just simply happy. Where I can be true when I tell people I am good. I am good…
Maybe if I chant that to myself it will be...
Monday, June 28, 2010
Yesterday
Days sifting through my memories
Finding the last bits of you
Searching for any remnants that will keep me happy
Any thing that can move me along
With weary eyes
Onlookers wondering if I'm alive
Wondering if there is still a breath in me
Wondering when I will return to life
Laying flat on the ground
Face down
Smelling the defeat of me
Dwelling in the emptiness of life
Soaking the ugliness of this earth
When will I return to be another face in the crowd
There is nothing left
My lips are dry
My hair is disheveled
I am broken
How I long to hear your voice once more
To revive these empty bones
To bring life to my lips
So that a new day does not seem like yesterday
Finding the last bits of you
Searching for any remnants that will keep me happy
Any thing that can move me along
With weary eyes
Onlookers wondering if I'm alive
Wondering if there is still a breath in me
Wondering when I will return to life
Laying flat on the ground
Face down
Smelling the defeat of me
Dwelling in the emptiness of life
Soaking the ugliness of this earth
When will I return to be another face in the crowd
There is nothing left
My lips are dry
My hair is disheveled
I am broken
How I long to hear your voice once more
To revive these empty bones
To bring life to my lips
So that a new day does not seem like yesterday
Thursday, June 24, 2010
I Wanna Be
I wanna be
As innocent as a child
As meek as a mouse
I wanna run through fields of dandelions
I wanna soar over clouds like a dream
I wanna be
I wanna be
True to myself
Free for myself
Stripped bare of everything
I wanna be naked
Purer than the purest water
Cleaner the the cleanest air
I want to burn
Burn brighter
Brighter than the sun
I want to dance
To dance like there is no music that can follow me
I want to be
I need to be… More
As innocent as a child
As meek as a mouse
I wanna run through fields of dandelions
I wanna soar over clouds like a dream
I wanna be
I wanna be
True to myself
Free for myself
Stripped bare of everything
I wanna be naked
Purer than the purest water
Cleaner the the cleanest air
I want to burn
Burn brighter
Brighter than the sun
I want to dance
To dance like there is no music that can follow me
I want to be
I need to be… More
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Stages
As every flower fades and as all youth
Departs, so life at every stage,
So every virtue, so our grasp of truth,
Blooms in its day and may not last forever.
Since life may summon us at every age
Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,
Be ready bravely and without remorse
To find new light that old ties cannot give.
In all beginnings dwells a magic force
For guarding us and helping us to live.
Serenely let us move to distant places
And let no sentiments of home detain us.
The Cosmic Spirit seeks not to restrain us
But lifts us stage by stage to wider spaces.
If we accept a home of our own making,
Familiar habit makes for indolence.
We must prepare for parting and leave-taking
Or else remain the slaves of permanence.
Even the hour of our death may send
Us speeding on to fresh and newer spaces,
And life may summon us to newer races.
So be it, heart: bid farewell without end.
- Hermann Hesse
So every virtue, so our grasp of truth,
Blooms in its day and may not last forever.
Since life may summon us at every age
Be ready, heart, for parting, new endeavor,
Be ready bravely and without remorse
To find new light that old ties cannot give.
In all beginnings dwells a magic force
For guarding us and helping us to live.
Serenely let us move to distant places
And let no sentiments of home detain us.
The Cosmic Spirit seeks not to restrain us
But lifts us stage by stage to wider spaces.
If we accept a home of our own making,
Familiar habit makes for indolence.
We must prepare for parting and leave-taking
Or else remain the slaves of permanence.
Even the hour of our death may send
Us speeding on to fresh and newer spaces,
And life may summon us to newer races.
So be it, heart: bid farewell without end.
- Hermann Hesse
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My little heart aches...
So this past week I've been in Tennessee. I went on vaca to visit my friends and my sister and her husband. MAN!!! I never knew how much I missed that city until I finally went back!
I missed the crappy streets, the crappy places, and the crappy old job I had. When I walked into my old job everyone light up. I was missed! It felt so nice to be missed! Managers and workers alike came around and talked to me and was wondering how I was doing. Some even came up to me and said I should go put on some clothes and get to working! HA HA! On my vaca... no thank you!
But it was so nice to just talk with them. That's all I did. I just went to hang out. I didn't need much more. That's who I am. I just needed some quality time with my friends to catch up, listen on the gossip, and just be around them. I didn't need to go out and have to be somewhere at all times, although thats how it seem my week went. But I have missed that.
Here in South Carolina I have no base of friends. I have to start all over and frankly thats hard for me. It takes me time to warm up to people and to be apart of the group. Also its really hard for me to trust people so I don't just jump into things right away.
I haven't had anyone to hang out with here. Sure I have my sisters but sometimes its nice to be out with other people. People that I don't see often.
I had many offers to go live with them in Tennessee or California even one to Virginia Beach (ahem t-la and jess). But right now those offers are just gonna have to sit on the table simply because I have no job as of right now. I quit my old job. I couldn't keep putting myself on the line each day while not having communication at this place.
I have worked on and off at Cracker Barrel for the past seven years, and this last store took it out of me. I started working there and the first two months were great. I was doing my job like they wanted me to and working hard and doing as I was told. But as the months went on the place seem to go down hill in a very fast pace.
First they implemented a new system as to how to cook the food and how the servers are supposed to deal with serving tables. I get it. Its a new system and people need to get used to it. I gave them two months and after those two months I broke. Besides everyone getting frustrated and getting at each others throat, this store was so understaffed it lead to people working more than 40 hours. Now I get that people at times like to work extra hours but not when your little piece of paper says 60 hours and you have put in physically about 80 hours.
I felt that way. I didn't work over 40 hours though. See at the store I was working prior to this one it is not permitted to work over 40 hours. Normally they will clock you out at about 39 hours and 59 minutes. SERIOUSLY! When one of the ladies told me she worked 62 hours I was taken aback simply because if I was working at the other store I would have been written up and been reprimanded for it.
Well after putting in my time I just couldn't do it anymore. So I gave in my two weeks, the day after I put in my two weeks I spoke to the manager and the day after that the manager was replaced. So anything I had spoken to him was null and void. So I will null and void this place from my life.
So here I am, with no job, in a different state, with no real friends, looking for something to get me to a place of sanity. I just hope I can start growing up now. I feel like I'm 17 and I just turned 28...
I missed the crappy streets, the crappy places, and the crappy old job I had. When I walked into my old job everyone light up. I was missed! It felt so nice to be missed! Managers and workers alike came around and talked to me and was wondering how I was doing. Some even came up to me and said I should go put on some clothes and get to working! HA HA! On my vaca... no thank you!
But it was so nice to just talk with them. That's all I did. I just went to hang out. I didn't need much more. That's who I am. I just needed some quality time with my friends to catch up, listen on the gossip, and just be around them. I didn't need to go out and have to be somewhere at all times, although thats how it seem my week went. But I have missed that.
Here in South Carolina I have no base of friends. I have to start all over and frankly thats hard for me. It takes me time to warm up to people and to be apart of the group. Also its really hard for me to trust people so I don't just jump into things right away.
I haven't had anyone to hang out with here. Sure I have my sisters but sometimes its nice to be out with other people. People that I don't see often.
I had many offers to go live with them in Tennessee or California even one to Virginia Beach (ahem t-la and jess). But right now those offers are just gonna have to sit on the table simply because I have no job as of right now. I quit my old job. I couldn't keep putting myself on the line each day while not having communication at this place.
I have worked on and off at Cracker Barrel for the past seven years, and this last store took it out of me. I started working there and the first two months were great. I was doing my job like they wanted me to and working hard and doing as I was told. But as the months went on the place seem to go down hill in a very fast pace.
First they implemented a new system as to how to cook the food and how the servers are supposed to deal with serving tables. I get it. Its a new system and people need to get used to it. I gave them two months and after those two months I broke. Besides everyone getting frustrated and getting at each others throat, this store was so understaffed it lead to people working more than 40 hours. Now I get that people at times like to work extra hours but not when your little piece of paper says 60 hours and you have put in physically about 80 hours.
I felt that way. I didn't work over 40 hours though. See at the store I was working prior to this one it is not permitted to work over 40 hours. Normally they will clock you out at about 39 hours and 59 minutes. SERIOUSLY! When one of the ladies told me she worked 62 hours I was taken aback simply because if I was working at the other store I would have been written up and been reprimanded for it.
Well after putting in my time I just couldn't do it anymore. So I gave in my two weeks, the day after I put in my two weeks I spoke to the manager and the day after that the manager was replaced. So anything I had spoken to him was null and void. So I will null and void this place from my life.
So here I am, with no job, in a different state, with no real friends, looking for something to get me to a place of sanity. I just hope I can start growing up now. I feel like I'm 17 and I just turned 28...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Love Come
by Sarah McLachlan
Love come
Light up the shadows
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time
I've seen much more than I want to
So much anger
So much pain
A line is drawn and lives are torn appart
The wound's so hard to heal
Love has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
A dream of some kind of peace I could hold up is true
Never knew anything about love before you
You call, I come running
I can sense the flood before it breaks
And I'd do anything to dry your tears
To let you know you're safe
Love has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
And I dream of some kind of peace I can hold up is true
I never knew anything about love before you
Love come light up the shadows
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time.
Love come
Light up the shadows
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time
I've seen much more than I want to
So much anger
So much pain
A line is drawn and lives are torn appart
The wound's so hard to heal
Love has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
A dream of some kind of peace I could hold up is true
Never knew anything about love before you
You call, I come running
I can sense the flood before it breaks
And I'd do anything to dry your tears
To let you know you're safe
Love has taken me in
Lifted my load
And in this empty space a wonder grows
And I dream of some kind of peace I can hold up is true
I never knew anything about love before you
Love come light up the shadows
Let the beauty of you enter in
For I have hungered for a tender touch
A long and lonely time.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Sunday Afternoon
by Rachael Yamagata
It's a choice to stay
It's a dream yeah and I wanna wake
You have blood on your hands and I'm feeling faint
And honey yeah, you can't decide
I'm a drug you don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarette and make your love flow
You poured blood in my heart, I can't get enough
I'm drowning and you can't decide
It's not about geography or happenstance
You need to fly and take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
And float on high and forever dance alone
You're scared 'cause I feel like home
I hear your voice and I knew right away
If you were here what your eyes would say
I have blood on my feet as I walk away
Rivers are red, it's starting to rain
I'm not gonna live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side
I won't live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
Shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
At least not 'til Sunday afternoon, Sunday afternoon
It's a choice to stay
It's a dream yeah and I wanna wake
You have blood on your hands and I'm feeling faint
And honey yeah, you can't decide
I'm a drug you don't wanna give up
Smoke your cigarette and make your love flow
You poured blood in my heart, I can't get enough
I'm drowning and you can't decide
It's not about geography or happenstance
You need to fly and take a chance
You don't need to soar to emptiness
And float on high and forever dance alone
You're scared 'cause I feel like home
I hear your voice and I knew right away
If you were here what your eyes would say
I have blood on my feet as I walk away
Rivers are red, it's starting to rain
I'm not gonna live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
Because you leave me here on the other side
You leave me here on the other side
I won't live for you or die for you
Won't do anything anymore for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
Shed one more tear for you
I'm not gonna shed one more tear for you
At least not 'til Sunday afternoon, Sunday afternoon
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