The last days then on to the new world...

Today I awoke to a bittersweet day...  It's my last full day here in cleveland.  A place I called home for the last eight years.  I haven't cried yet.  I'm not hoping to cry.  I'm hoping to look it in my rearview mirror and just remember the years I gave it.  I gave Cleveland my best years yet...  I've met best friends.  I've met people that I will love forever.  I met people that I can trust with all my heart.  Finally found a family group and now I must leave them.  I must release them.

I want to stay and live here longer but my time is up.  I didn't have money to go to school this year or for the next following ones... So I must man up move home and start paying back the government.  I have to become more.  I gave this place all I could and now I must give myself more.  I must go out release the hand I've been holding and embrace the new and different.  I'm excited and scared all at the same time.  Excited because its a new environment and I can start fresh.  Find new things to do, find new people to trust, and find a new me.  But I"m scared because its all new.  Somewhere where my labels do not define me, except for at home.  But outside I will be someone new, someone different.

Amazing how one year can change you, undress you, express you.  Their will be many lessons I learned from this small nothing place.  Lessons that will be mine to remember for all of my life.  I didn't want to tell to many people that I was escaping this town.  I hate goodbyes.  They are too final.  They say "I'm not sure when I will see you next..."  Sounds so depressing.  I rather disappear and be missed for the lack and absence, not cried over.

I've moved so much in the past 8 years.  Now I'm gonna be permanent.  It worries me to be still for such a long time.  The last few years has been me shedding myself everytime I move.  Pick up, throw away, move on, start over.  That has been the cycle.  All in the same town mind you.  And now I will be stagnant for the next few years.  I honestly have no clue as to what the future holds for me.  I thought so many different things and now all those things really mean nothing.  They were things I wanted.  What do I want now?  I just want to be happy knowing people around me are happy.  I want to be able to pay everything back that I have borrowed, owed, stole, and used.  That's what I what for right now.

So here goes to the memories.  To the laughter that never ceased when I found something incredibly funny.  To the cries for nights when I couldn't feel the morning.  To the days when life seem so bright.  To nights spent away dancing till morning.  To the never ending movie marathons.  To the many games that were played where I cheated everytime!  To the many nights looking up at the beautiful stars with friends on either side of me.  To the many times we sat in a circle and sang.  To the memories that made me, broke me, released me, and to those that I will hold forever dear to my heart.  I will love you and reminisce as much as I can.

Thank you Cleveland for giving the best few years of my life.  I will miss you.

Hey Charleston, South Carolina... You have no clue what a gem you are receiving.  Don't break my heart like Cleveland has.

~Rosa