Trapped in the confines an endless world...

I've been having trouble sleeping...

I'm trying to "live" right... whatever that means...

Life is slowly moving.  Which is a good thing for its moving.  I just wish it went faster.

Challenges brings change.

It's what I've heard before but I heard it on an infomercial last night.  On a fitness commercial no less and even though I've heard it TONS of times it just hit me last night.

People keep asking for things to change in their lives.  Things that need straightening but they do NOTHING to change it.  As myself.  I ask for the change and I don't challenge myself for that change.  So why do I deserve it?

I'll be honest.  I haven't truly had too many challenges.  The two things I struggle with the most are love and trust.  And with those you can tag along fear.  

Love and trust...

They say when you are a child you develop many things to allow you to grow up with minimal whatevers.  And up until I was 9 or 10 maybe a little older I started to have troubles with who I could and who I couldn't trust.  

I would discuss something with someone and they would betray me by outing me out.  I was in class on monday, my Juvenile Delinquency class, and the professor spoke about how people need to have a relationship with someone to trust.  Right now in life  the only thing I trust to talk to is this.  To a nobody, a blank and empty page.  I feel free to write on this thing.  But in my actual world... I don't trust people face to face.  I've been hurt to many times from just telling people what I feel and what has happened in my life that I honestly don't care to share my inner mind and emotions with.

Life is life.

Maybe for a change I can reach out and challenge myself to trust one person to tell them what good and bad things have happened...  Maybe they'll think I'm crazy.  Maybe they wont.