After I wrote the previous post the knot was gone...
My relationship with Him is, well it is what it is...
There's still a strong connection that I know He is real and controls everything... Yet, On the other hand my trust and willingness to love is hanging by threads... Not saying that I can never love but trust.
I've been so hurt in all aspects of my life that its hard for me to trust this entity that controls apparently all aspects of life.
Pain only makes you stronger... so they say... not sure if I believe it yet...
I'm not sure if all my posts could be shared with people. When I write its clear. One subject one message. Once I start talking I forget my subject and the message and I never get at what I need to say. Writing is very therapeutic for myself.
Its a gray day today. Rain.
It sounds so awful but I just noticed the beauty in the cloudy rainy day...
The clouds covering the earth so that the galaxy does not see it being cleansed and rejuvenated by the rain. So all the galaxy sees is a the earth retreating to itself while it purges and clears itself of just things.
Sounds stupid... but what a glorious gloomy day!
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