Old Post 3

February 2008

What is it… 
what is it… 
what do you want from me… 


you brought me here… 
I’ve gotten nothing from you… 
you’ve been no help… 
you don’t understand what it is that you do to me… 


your not poison your not a drug… 
you’re a disease… 
you infect until you’re the only one happy… 


I hate you… 
I hate you… 
never once did you say I love you… 
never once did you understand my anger… 


no… 
your not a mind reader… 
but did you ever care to ask… 
did you ever want to ask…  
how I am… 
who I am… 


I am here because of you… 
but I never understood you… 
you never let me understand the walls behind your gates… 


I loved you… 
I needed you… 
I gave you so many reasons to stay 
so many reasons to love me… 


but you never showed me the truth… 
you never gave me that one thing I was searching 
the one thing that I still look for today… 


I can’t find it in anyone else… 
I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t able to reach out to him… 
I broke his heart because of you… 


why do you have such a hold on my heart… 
why did you leave a mark on my heart…. 
You’re a scar that never heals… 
I want to be rid of you… 


tell me what can I take to make your hurt heal… 
to make that scar a memory… 


I want to move on…. 
I need it… 
your existence isn’t more than just a memory 
it so vividly lives in me… 


you’re a shadow that looms to my side 
never fading away 
always growing bigger… 


I can’t tell if its me or its you that walks… 
you grow bigger with every heartache…  
if only you knew how much anguish and pain you give me… 


I loved you 
I hated you 
and I don’t know how to feel about you… 


you’ve hurt me 
you stained my life 
and I need to remove you… 


tell me what can I use to finally remove this residue…