Colorless

I walk through those doors
Each day I find it more and more difficult
It grieves me
To know that you will never be there to see me again

It pains me that your love is far from me

I sit at our spot
Looking out the same window we always looked out of
Seeing the same things we always did

But its different
It doesn’t look as beautiful as it used to
You made everything look so different
And now life is colorless

I try to yell
I try to make a move
But nothing
I feel nothing

As if all the color
All the life
All of me left when you walked out that door
When you said no to me

I walk and with each step my feet get heavier
Heavier with the loss of you
Heavier with emptiness
And nothingness

I close the blinds on all my windows
Maybe I will find some light that you left behind
Maybe in the darkness I will find you
I have lost myself

I lived for you
I did everything for you
I made myself more for you
I changed because of you

And now I am curled up like a child
In the corner shutting out life
Sitting alone in the dark
Listening to the stillness

Hoping I can hear your voice in the stillness
Life has finally stopped
And I can’t see anything
I cannot see the future nor my present

My mind is clouded by the memory of you
It is beaten down
How do fight to get you back
How do I let myself stand with out you here

Holding tight to your sweatshirt
I smell you
I need you
I let it wrap around me hoping to feel you

There is nothing left here
You took it all with you

Bring my heart back
Bring my love back
Bring the sunshine back into me

How long will I stay broken
How long will I lay here
Let me wallow in the loss of you

I’m scared
Scared that I will never love like this again
Scared that you were the only one that could find my heart
Scared that this story is bound to repeat itself again

I want you
And yet I don’t need another you

You have damaged me more than anyone could
Bringing me false hope
Sending me false love

How I ate it all
And still wishing you were here
That you never left

How do I break free from you
How do I

Just be

Hold me

Leave me

Kiss me

Run from me

Help me find some happy medium without you

Help me find new colors to a life without you