The way you see me

I thought we meant more to each other

I guess I wasn’t that important
You didn’t see me as valuable
I saw you as my fountain of wisdom
But you didn’t see me as much

What did you really see me as
Was I just a helpless child
Hopeless person
Needy girl

I want to see me the way you saw me
I want to be able to picture me in your eyes
So I can take a good look at myself

You really were more than I could ever have

But you’ve come across people like me often
People who try and get things from you
I was just one more to add to the list
One more that you were glad to get rid of

My foolish heart believed there was more
More to you
More to this
But there wasn’t was there

Yes you have so much I can learn from
So much you’ve gone through
And so much you have done
But I don’t care about your experience

I don’t care of where you have been
Or what you have done
I care for your heart
I care for what is underlaying

I want to hold your heart
But you don’t want that
You just want a good time
Always looking for fun

I guess I wasn’t that much fun
I bored you more than helped you
I see that now
Thank you for opening my eyes

To see how pathetic you saw me
How lost I was
Did you get a kick out of helping me
Did you feel better after I was “cured”

I stand here angry
Not at you
But at me
For believing every thing

For clinging on to your words like dew under the morning sun
For listening like the still trees on a summer afternoon
But why can’t I stay mad at you
Why will I not allow myself to hate you

I feel no harsh emotions towards you
You did give me wisdom
You gave me life
I guess there really isn’t anymore that I can get from you

So do I close my door to you
Do I forget you hurt me
Do I forget the many tears you made fall from my eyes
Or do I just hold on to the happy memories

The ones of us laughing
Loving
Helping
Holding

Give me some time
Then maybe my heart wont be asking for you as much