The Ghost of Change

Scattered on the ground
Just like you found me
That’s how you leave me

Do you build me up to cut me off at the knees again
You waltz in here with your beauty
Your charm
And your lust

Craving me
My lust was yours
My love was yours
Captivating every inch of me
Disturbing every part of me
Focusing all on you

You ripped at me
You pulled at me
You disorganized my whole life

You trampled all the hate
All the mistakes
All my guilt and shame

And finally I had strength to stand
We danced
We ran
We jumped over all norms
Over life and its loves

We enjoyed ourselves
We held each other
I cried
You wiped my tears
And caressed me

You did whatever you wanted with me
You kissed my lips
You kissed my heart
You put your love on me

I was afraid of you
Afraid of you spirit
You were so open to life
So much freedom
Something I’ve never allowed in my life

You thrusted me out into the world
And the world took me in with open arms

But as soon as I was out on my own
You slowly started to step back
Slowly disappearing into the mists
And fading into the background

I couldn’t see you anymore
You were gone
Never to find me again
I stood on my own
Trying to remove the loss of you
But I’m yelling into the wilderness
Screaming to have you back
But all I hear are my echoes

Bouncing off into nothingness
As if a ghost
The ghost of freedom

So here I am
On the ground again
In a puddle of change
Surrounded by sadness
And feeling used

I don’t need an explanation
Let me explain

You gave me life
So I owe you more than you can imagine
Let me pay in full
But where do I send the my payment to

Do I just tell the wind
Maybe it will get faster to you than me