I Can't Feel Anymore

**Please don't think that I am in an abusive relationship... or that I am depressed... but I felt dark and I wanted to write dark... This is not as dark as I can get but this was just me feeling something dark. I don't know how well this will be taken but I honestly don't care! It's me and what my mind and heart was feeling. Take it or leave it is my motto! Enjoy and if not then I'm ok with that too!**



Push me
Hit me
Bring me down
Abuse me

That is what you are good at
That is what you seem to excel at
Giving me pain
Bring me to a new level on the floor

How does it make you feel when I am back there
How does it make you feel when you see me bleeding on the ground

Do you feel hatred because I’m not strong enough
Do you see love because you want to heal me again
Or do you feel nothing
Do you not see my pain

Grab my hand and drag me
Pull me all around the house
Use me as a rag doll
My heart is as tattered as my clothing

Ripped to shreds and barely keeping it together
I don’t know how to get out of this never ending cycle of pain

You keep pulling me back into you
With your words that pierce me
Maybe I’m not good enough for anyone else

Will they love me with your bruises
Will they take me with your cuts
Will they love me with your marks all over me

I feel as insignificant as dust
Small and tiny
Just taking up space
You diminish me to nothing

I’m barely surviving
I’m barely holding on
Only living in my misery
Thats all I know

That is how you make me feel
Am I waiting on something to change in vain

Are you really the best I can get
I’m starting to believe everything you are saying
I’m starting to take it all in
I’m become that what you said I am

Something pathetic
Something ruined
Something tainted
Something broken

Maybe I do like it when you use me as a punching bag
Then I remember I am still alive
That I am still breathing
When I see the blood I can I remember that I haven’t died yet
That my heart is still fighting for me

But I don’t want to fight anymore
I don’t care to
I’m just waiting on the day when you finally end it
Then see that I was something more than a punching bag

But when that day comes
I’m not sure you will shed a tear for me
That you will even care
Is that what my life has come to
Have I become just another statistic

And finally
I have lost myself
Lost myself to the pain
I don’t feel anymore
I have become numb

I can’t feel your hits
I can’t feel your punches
I can’t feel you