RUIN

There it is again
That sound
The sound of my phone ringing again
Its you
I know it

You keep calling me
Keep texting me
Keep having me on that short line

I haven’t replied in days
Can’t you get the picture
Do you not see that I’m trying to rid myself of you

And yet you persist
You keep calling me
Do you believe that this will work for the best

Anything that has to do with me ends in disaster
It will always end wrong
I’m tainted
I’m not that girl you need

I’m not strong enough for you
I’m not beautiful enough
I’ve seen the ones you’ve been with
They are so beautiful

How can I compare myself to them
Besides that I ruin anything good in my life
I ruin the good
And make them bad

I understand we all have our hang ups
But you don’t want this hang up
I have too much that I will not let you have
Too much that I can’t let you have

You think I’ve given you all of me
Believe me darling you really don’t know the half of it
You don’t know what truly hides behind these brown eyes

There is a silent dragon
Ready and willing to strike at the first that tries to break in
And you
You who has been so good to me

You who has seen the light in me
I can't have you
I’m not gonna let you have me

For I will ruin that too
I will ruin the beauty that we will create
Leave me be
I rather just be alone for the rest of my life

I’m happier alone
I’m healthier by myself
Yes I do believe it

My darkness is strong
It can keep you captive
You might lose yourself in it

I’ve been in the dark
And know how to manipulate it
But you...

You are meant for more
So please stop trying to win me back
For I will not let you get lost in my darkness
When I’ve been overtaken by it already